Living Beyond Yourself - Session 1 - Guilt and Self-Compassion

One of the things that came up in session 1 is the difficulty that people, especially women, tend to have with claiming forgiveness, with carrying around guilt and self-condemnation, despite our confession and God's promise to forgive us. Beth Moore brought us a wonderful quote with regard to this. From Brennan Manning's book Abba's Child:

Dare to live as a forgiven [person]. Take sides with [God] against your own self-evaluation.

If you aren't familiar with Brennan Manning's book, the following review describes it well (from The Book Report Network):

Manning begins by beckoning Christians to come out of hiding, the place to which we retreat out of shame or guilt in the misguided belief that God is berating us as harshly as we are berating ourselves.

It is only when we shed our false identity and accept the unconditional love of our Abba --- our heavenly "Daddy" --- that we can experience the passionate love relationship with Him that we have long craved.

Our fellow Morning Blend member, Beth, sent me an email this week, and suggested listening to a TED Talk by Kristin Neff on self-compassion. Beth said, "She [Kristin Neff] talks about the difference between self esteem and self compassion. Our culture and especially women seem to have a difficult time being gentle to ones self." Though Neff speaks from a secular and scientific point of view, she addresses this cultural problem in a way that might help up open ourselves to the forgiveness of God. Check it out here:

This also brought to mind for me, a discussion we had last year with regard to shame and regret. For that post and another wonderful TED talk, go here: Brené Brown: Listening to Shame.

Let us pray for each other to "come out of hiding" and be released from guilt, shame and regret, in order to be more fully open to the "Pouring In" of the Spirit of God and the "Pouring Forth" of the fruits of the Spirit from ourselves.

Living Beyond Yourself - Intro Session

If you were busy scribbling notes just as fast as you could scribble, and you missed some of the scriptures from this past week's video, here's the line-up:

John 14
Psalm 27:13
John 10:10
Galatians 5:22-23
Phillipians 3:12-14
2 Corinthians 1:8-9
Colossians  1:29
John 11:43

We have been encouraged to memorize Galatians 5:22-23 for this study in the NIV translation:

"The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law."

Together, we also practiced this verse in sign language. I found a quick video that can help review the signs:

Living Beyond Yourself

Morning Blend is gearing back up to begin meeting formally at Park Avenue Church on September 10th! And this autumn, we'll begin with the study Living Beyond Yourself by Beth Moore.

From the Lifeway website, Living Beyond Yourself is an...

"...in-depth women's Bible study of the fruit of the Holy Spirit as presented in the book of Galatians. Beth walks participants through each trait listed in the fruit and encourages women to know the freedom of a Spirit-filled life. Through this study participants will look at the supernatural aspects of the fruit and that you cannot grow, learn, or produce the fruit on your own. Beth challenges you to develop the fruit by maintaining an intimate relationship with the Spirit of God. A Spirit-filled life truly results in living beyond yourself."

Bird by Bird with Anne

Bird by Bird with Anne is a documentary featuring Anne Lamott and her story of writing, life and faith. It is available for rent on Amazon: Bird by Bird with Anne.

Enjoy!

Summer Book Discussion - Help, Thanks, Wow by Anne Lamott

Summer is quickly slipping by, and we're meeting at my house for the summer months to keep up with each other and to share some sunshine, coffee, treats & good conversation!

Tesha suggested that we pick an easy-read to informally discuss at our summer gatherings. The book Help, Thanks, Wow: The Three Essential Prayers by Anne Lamott has come up in conversation a number of times over the last few years, and it seemed like a natural choice for summer reading.

To listen to a quick 7-minute podcast discussion with Anne Lamott about the book, check this out:
Anne Lamott Distills Prayer Into 'Help, Thanks, Wow'

From pbs.org (link also includes a video interview from November 2013):

Often called the "people's author," Anne Lamott writes about such personal subjects as substance abuse, single motherhood and Christianity. With her trademark conversational, frank and humorous style, her books have inspired countless readers. She's a Guggenheim fellowship recipient and has been a book reviewer and a California magazine restaurant critic. The San Francisco native has also taught at writing conferences across the U.S. and had one of her novels, Hard Laughter, dramatized on stage. Her latest book, Stitches, is the follow-up to her best-selling Help, Thanks, Wow and explores how people can make sense of life's chaos.

A bio and a complete listing of her books can be found at the Steven Barclay Agency website.

And, you can read excerpts from Help, Thanks, Wow in these places:

Anne Lamott's Three Simple Prayers - book intro at oprah.com
Spirituality and Practice - on joy
Anne Lamott: My Secret Little Prayer - on struggles and grief at salon.com

What is a Mezuzah?

From Hebrew For Christians:

A mezuzah (מְזוּזָה) is a kosher parchment scroll (inscribed with Deuteronomy 6:4-9 and 11:13-21 on one side and the word Shaddai on the other side) that is rolled up and inserted into a decorative case. The case is then affixed to a doorway in fulfillment of the commandment given in Deuteronomy 6:9, "And you shall write them upon the doorposts (mezuzot) of your house, and upon your gates."

"Mezuzah" is the Hebrew word for "doorpost" and is a reminder that the blood of the Lamb on the doorpost identified those within as belonging to God and protected from the angel of death. The purpose of the mezuzah is to both identify those who dwell in the house as Jewish (or, for some, Messianic) and remind the dwellers of who they are and what they believe.

It has also been said that the mezuzah on the doorpost is a reminder to be mindful of what we bring through that door, of what comes into our homes. From aish.com:

If we want our internal world to reflect Godly ideals, we have to protect it against the outside world at the point of interface: the doorway. This means monitoring the contents of books, games and video that we expose our children and ourselves to.

As well, having a mezuzah on each room means that whenever we move from one domain, one sphere of activity, to another, we must renew our consciousness of God's presence and act in a way that sanctifies His Name. 

Once learned, the lesson extends beyond our home and into all areas of life. Just as a house has doorways, so too we have eyes, ears, nose, and mouth ― portals to the external world. The values of the Torah call for our mouths to eat kosher food and speak "kosher" words; for our ears not to listen to gossip; for our eyes not to run after empty desires.

Biblical Referenes for Mourning Customs

There are several references throughout the Bible to periods of mourning lasting for specified periods of time:

Genesis 50:7-10

⁷ So Joseph went up to bury his father. With him went up all the servants of Pharaoh, the elders of his household, and all the elders of the land of Egypt, ⁸ as well as all the household of Joseph, his brothers, and his father's household. Only their children, their flocks, and their herds were left in the land of Goshen. ⁹ And there went up with him both chariots and horsemen. It was a very great company. ¹⁰ When they came to the threshing floor of Atad, which is beyond the Jordan, they lamented there with a very great and grievous lamentation, and he made a mourning for his father seven days.

Numbers 20:29

²⁹ And when all the congregation saw that Aaron had perished, all the house of Israel wept for Aaron thirty days.

Deuteronomy 34:7-8

⁷ Moses was 120 years old when he died. His eye was undimmed, and his vigor unabated. ⁸ And the people of Israel wept for Moses in the plains of Moab thirty days. Then the days of weeping and mourning for Moses were ended.

1 Samuel 31:13

¹³ And they took their bones and buried them under the tamarisk tree in Jabesh and fasted seven days.

There are also many, many references to the tearing of clothes, wearing sackcloth, going barefoot, and covering the head. These are too numerous to quote here. See this website: 100 Bible Verses About Mourning.

Stages of Jewish Mourning

The Jewish process of mourning involves 4 to 5 specific steps that guide the bereaved through the first days, months and years following a significant loss:

1. Aninut - From the death through the burial, this is a time for burial preparations to be made, for candles to be lit and for mourners to sit with the body until the burial is complete. Once the burial is finished, the community serves the family a condolence meal, not to be shared with the community.

2. Aveilut - After the burial is complete, those family members for whom the death was of a parent, spouse, sibling, or child have a period of 7 days called shiva. During these days, the bereaved will not work, leave the house, wear shoes, or bathe. They will sit on low stools and cover the mirrors in their houses. The community comes to visit them, brings food, and participates in the recitation of the Kaddish prayer.

The recitation of Kaddish requires a minyan (a gathering of 10 people). This keeps those in mourning from isolating themselves from the community, and the community is continually called upon to be aware of those who are mourning.

Interestingly, the Kaddish prayer is not so much a prayer of grief and mourning, but a prayer acknowledging the greatness of God:

Exalted and sanctified is God's great Name (Amen)
in the world which He has created according to His will,
and may He establish His kingdom in your lifetime
and during your days, and within the life of the entire House of Israel,
speedily and soon; and say, Amen. (Amen)
May His great Name be blessed forever and for all eternity.
Blessed and praised, glorified and exalted, extolled
and honored, elevated and lauded be the Name of the Holy One, blessed be He,
beyond all the blessings and hymns, praises and consolations
that are uttered in the world; and say, Amen. (Amen)
May there be great peace from heaven, and life, for us
and for all Israel; and say, Amen. (Amen)
May He who makes peace in His high places make peace within us
and for all Israel, and say ye: Amen (Amen)

It is thought that during this time mourners need a reminder of God's sovereignty and those reminder will bring comfort.  (For more on Kaddish, visit Hebrew For Christians - Mourner's Kaddish.)

3. Sheloshim - For 30 days from the day of the burial (for the 7 above mentioned relatives), mourners leave the house for work or other necessary errands, but they do not participate in festive gatherings, listen to music, or cut their hair. They continue to recite Kaddish daily.

4. Shanah - For 11 months from the time of burial for those who have lost a parent, the bereaved continues to avoid celebrations and to recite Kaddish daily.

5. Yahrzeit - The anniversary of the death date is observed annually with the lighting of a candle and the recitation of Kaddish. The loved one, who has died, is also remembered with the lighting of a candle on the afternoon before Yom Kippur, the last day of Passover, the last day of Shavuot, and the day following Sukkot.

(More info on the stages of mourning can be found at: aish.com and  Judaism 101.)

Mourning in Community - Questions for Reflection & Suggested Activity

An article summarizing Lauren Winner's discussion on Jewish Mourning practices can be found here: Mourning in Community.

In Winner's perspective, the church has lost the sense of community and communal practice that is essential in Judaism, and one of the places where this is most evident is in "the way Christians mourn:"

Winner's upbringing has led her to value communal practices, which are integral to Judaism but have largely been lost in translation to Christianity, where religious practice has moved from being communal (in Israel) to being philosophical (in Greece), institutional (in Rome), cultural (in Europe), and now to being corporate (in North America). In her writing, Winner has established a pattern of diagnosing Christian isolationism: what others do in community, we try to do alone. One of the strongest such examples is her vision of the way Christians mourn.

...

Later, Winner says that mourning “is never easy, but it is better done inside a communal grammar of bereavement” (28). Christianity, living as it does on this side of Easter, often fails to provide an honest and accurate assessment of the cruelness of death and loss. So Winner turns instead to the grammar of Judaism, which lives in between death and resurrection.

These questions for reflection are taken from the longer chapter by chapter study guide:

When was the last time you were at a funeral, who was there, and what you were aware of when you were there?

How were you taught to mourn? Is mourning a private process or a community pilgrimage?

When was the last time you, personally, had to mourn? How long did you let yourself mourn? How long did the community give you permission to mourn?

Who is mourning around you now? What does it mean to mourn with them?

Suggested activity:

Read Psalm 77 a few times - aloud and silently. Consider writing your own personal lament. You may want to lament something personally in your life or something globally. You could lament a death, a broken relationship, a natural disaster, a current event disaster.

Teaching Kids About Sabbath

Pat shared an article with me on Wednesday that she found in Today's Christian Woman. I found the article online and wanted to pass it on to all of you!

Teaching Kids About Sabbath

Despite the title, the article is for anyone finding a way to practice Sabbath, not just for those trying to pass the practice on to their children